Cut Off

Where did you go?  What did I do?  Was I really wrong to want to answer a question? I'm lonely without you sweetie.  I can't believe I did it again.  I never open up. I never let anyone in, for a reason.  a good reason.  This one.  When someone sees me, they stop wanting to.  I hate myself for letting you see me Jake (not his real name).  I told you about me, I shared, I trusted you and you rejected me again.  So much for not being able to offend.  So much for trust.  All your words were shite.  You just reaffirmed all the things I believed about myself.  I'm stupid and ugly.  Nobody wants me, they just want to use me. I'm worthless, and old. No one cares and I'm better off dead. I have been told that by my family all my life. And I fought against those words.  But I can't anymore, because they are true.

And I miss so you.  With you I felt contentment.  I was starting to feel good about life.  I thought I found an understanding companion that would journey with me.  I'm so alone. I thought I found a friend.  I thought I found something.  Not love, don't get it twisted. I can never love again. I lost that ability years ago.  But thanks to you I found out that I can still cry.  Enjoy your laugh.  You just crushed a rose in your hand.

FUCK LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!