Merry X-mas

Well it is that time if year again. My eldest son, just turned 12. Truthfully it tears my soul apart. My ex-husband loves to play these mind games. He thinks that if he can keep him away from long enough that I will stop loving him, and give up. I don't think he understands the meaning of love, let alone a mother's love. I adore my children. Not even death would stop me from thinking about them day & night and loving them forever. I understand that it is his messed up childhood that makes think that a mother can stop loving their child. I understand that his mother was a nut and that she did not love him the way she should. However, I am not his mother. I never will be, and he cannot turn me into her. One dark day he will learn the truth about life and love. And while I will feel sorry for him, there will be no rue pity. Everything we do, we do to ourselves. The distance we put between each other is our faults. It's called personal responsibility. It includes more than being responsible for bills or children. It includes our life decisions and outcomes from them. When a man cheats, his wife/girlfriend/lover may leave him, that is not the wife/girlfriend/lover's fault, no one forced the man to cheat he did that of his own free will. The consequences of that action is solely his fault. Not to say that a person cannot be driven to cheat, but the actually cheating is that person's personal decision, and they must accept the consequences of that action. For those that are more logical in nature, this is the rule of "cause and effect."

For all those out there lonely this holiday season, you are not alone. I miss my child greatly. You may begin to miss someone too. The reason that we feel loneliness a lot of the time is not because there is not one around...but because we remember a time when someone, or something, was and still long for them/it to return. We can never recapture our past. The only things we can do is work for our future. If it is a certain someone out there that you miss and you do have that chance to reconnect, what is stopping you? If it is something that you have been missing that you used to do, why not try doing it on your own? The main person who hinders you in life is...YOU!

I hope you all have a happy holiday. And remember that a new year with new possibilities are around the corner. Remember that "the buck stops" with you. Try to take care of yourself and each other.