Huh?

So I was trying to recover some of the poetry I have published on this one site, so I don't have to dig for the originals, and OMG I can't retreive them. That pissed me off. What's a girl to do? My first thought was "get laid," then I said "NO NO NO, what would a GIRL do?" Then I thought "get mad." Sometimes you have to think of something positive before angry. LOL. Of course anyone who knows me know that I got frustrated trying to find it then got angry but hey does neatness count? SO you are saying to yourself, is she drunk? or did Ross Perot take over her mind??? Sadly neither has happened yet so I have no excuss except that I am terribly bored and still haven't slept. Going on over 24 hours. OMG I NEED SLEEP!!! That isn't what's on my mind though. I have an interesting relationship with this guy. We have been on & off for 3 years. Now it is time to kinda move on and this is a small problem since we live together. Worse than being married. He said to me the other day that he want to start sleeping around, so of course I say, "Okay, only if I get to also." He said ok at first, then the thought hit him. He said, "Well if I don't feel comfortable with that then you have to stop." What-the-freak- ever!!! I said, "Well baby then I would need to make a few phone calls b/c it wouldn't be fair for you to be sleeping with a few people and when I finally decide to that you feel uncomfortable. I mean equality hun. However many peple that you sleep with I get to sleep with an equal number WITHOUT you getting mad." If he doesn't like it I guess that it isn't going to happen. I swear the nerve of that guy. Tell me that I can't do whomever I want, but he will? What is up with that? He just doesn't get the idea that it is a goose & gander thing. Why should I let him have fun if I can't? Not right in my opinion. Then again neither is the fact I won't be sleeping with anyone. I mean if I won't sleep with him after all this time, then why would I sleep with anyone else? I swear men think all women if not virgins are sluts. That is enough to piss me off there. I mean I already live under the stigmatism of living in a town where like 90+% of the females are whores. Living in a military/college town does not help. So most guys think automatically that you are easy when they meet you and you have to try to talk then down to the point that you are NOT going fuck them. Most guys won't even talk to you again. Not that that is a big loss. If I am good enough to fuck, then I am good enough to be with outside the bedroom, and if I am good enough to be a girl-friend then I am good enough to be your girlfriend. I think the quality of men have slipped a little. They expect such low morals and all from women. I think it shows how bad men have become too. Not that I don't understand, but maybe I shouldn't have to. Yes, one day I would love to meet the right kind of guy, but finding a man that is the right mix on naughty and nice like me is hard. Truly I do want a male version of me. Would be nice...lol He doesn't have to be exactl like but close to my personality so we can be friends when we are older, that would be nice. Good luck to me. LOL I may happen, probably not.