I Drove All Night

I didn't want to come home tonight. I wanted to stay in the car and come to where you are, knock on the door and say "here I am." If I believed that you would even invite me in, I would have left this minute. I hate you, and I love you...why? I wanna break down and write you, but I know better. If I give in again, you will walk all over me. I just want to cry, and you know how I feel about me crying. I haven't been this sad since I heard you were shipped out to war.

I sang in our new karaoke bar all night. I am friends with the owner and the d.j.'s there. I was talking with the one d.j. that I am closer to and I told her about you. I think she got the message about how I felt about you. I totally melt when I think of you. I just want to forgive everything and ... do you even care what the rest of the sentence states? Do you realize what you are giving up? Do you know what men would give for a woman that is willing to stand by them through everything? Pick them up before they fall... Watch them soar and be willing to let them go, if it made them happy... Do you know what that is worth? You are spending your life searching for nothing and finding just that. When given a pearl you cast it amoug the swine. What are you afraid of? I have been waiting for 3 words...and not "I love you." I know you are more afraid of those words then "Stick'em up."

I just thought we were happy together. You always perked up when I was around. Your eyes smiled and you lit up when I came into the room. You said you felt at home, or did you forget so soon? I wish I could just confront you face to face. So you would say it to my face, that I mean nothing. I need to hear that from you. I need you tell me that everything was a lie. But you won't, because I can rely on the fact you are unreliable.

I give up, I have to write anyway. I give in. I am nothing.