Brand New Day

Well it's been two days since I have made my decision. I have been thinking about everything that has happened to me in the last 13 years and I really see where I went wrong. I trusted other people with decisions. I made the decisions but I let other people influence what I wanted. Let them talk me out of things, talk me into things, and all those things where not good for me. Yet I trusted them and/or their years and believed that they might know something. I forgot that everyone is out for their own best interest. With certain people it has been abundantly clear that everyone has their own agenda and I am either a stepping stone or a desire unrealized. The problem with both is that my happiness is never considered or really cared about. Everyone wants what they want. I am tired of that. I am tired of being a good person. I am tired of caring for others wants and how we "can work together" to get what we want. Everyone, even the sweetest nicest people, just uses you to get something. Usually it is their own happiness. You see there are two types of people in this world, the ones that true care of others and the ones that will use as many to get what they want. Worse of all I can even almost understand the kind of person that uses to get what they need, but I find that it is not that they need something; it is just something that they want. I am the kind of person who will get what they need but will give in trade. I can no longer allow myself to be that way. Most people do not deserve it and all people will walk on you because they can. I shake my head in disappointment at what I have seen our people become. I have lost faith in humanity.