Oh Brother

I received a reply from my ex-, about my last blog, talking about how proud he was at my "spiritual growth." Gee wiz mister man, I guess I am getting to be more of what you want, let's forget that we are divorced. NEWS FLASH ASSHOLE, I have never changed! The problem with my ex- is that after he got to know me well enough know he wanted to marry me, then he stopped listening to anything I said. My opinions did not matter so I stopped giving them. Example, I bought curtins for the kitchen. He never walked in the kitchen except to raid the fridge. Yet when he FINALLY noticed the curtains he complained that I made a decision without getting approval and that even though he liked the curtains he wanted them down. My opinion is and has also been not to "cast pearls before swine." He always had the belief that because I was a woman that I have no wisdom, knowledge, intelligence, or anything important to say. I blame this on his parenting. The doting mother that was treated less than human by their father. From what I gather even from the father before they met she was a vibrant beautiful smart woman with many opinions. His abuse and refusal to see her as his partner, along with breaking her will, has made her into little more than a lump of baby-making flesh. I have seen that look in her eyes, the look of a wild stallion that broke so hard that it's eye are empty where fire once blazed. I have seen the way her own children belittle her importance, as if the little shits would have been born without her. The role of woman is just as important as a man. He created one for the other. To be a help-mate. To be the "other-half." HE gave her a brain to think...a heart to give compassion and love...arms to carry...hands to hold...to right organs to bring forth and sustain life...legs to walk beside or on her own...two feet to stand on... Woman is God's greatest gift to man, yet he treats it like trash. To be used, abuse, spent, wasted and thrown away. To the few that actually see how fragile and precious woman really is, I applaud you. Just because we woman are a gift doesn't mean that you can use it as you wish..we are not a inanimate gift, we are living beings. Amazing enough we can think. Amazing enough before we meet men we thought, looked after, maintained, and myriad of other thing BY OURSELVES!!! We developed whole personalities. OMG!!! I know what you are thinking, that is unbelievable! It is true! So maybe, just maybe all this "growth" that you see is just the first time you stopped to see that I have a mind, thoughts, ideas, hopes, wishes, and desires that you never bothered to ask about or considered. That before I knew you I had taken care of myself, and grown up into who I was. Just because I am seven years younger doesn't mean I was seven years old when we were together. What you don't know about me would fill the great library of Alexandra, and like the morons that burned that great city you will never get to learn from me in a way that might have changed you also. I stopped telling you about me when you stopped listening. So if this is a giant revelation to you, then that only shows how much you never knew me. I have not changed. My faith has never changed. My beliefs have never changed. The only thing that has changed is the fact that you were forced to listen for once. So your "pride" for me means nothing. Save it for when your shrink tells you that you have made progress with your abuse issues. I don't need or want your acceptance. I accept, like and love myself.