SSDD

So here I am alone. I am so sick of this life I live. I am so tired of fighting. I have this stupid song in my head. It's called "phantom's Theme" from Phantom of the Paradise. It pulls at my heart. I have all this pain inside. I hate all this. I can't take it. I trying to make people happy, and all I get is shit. The truely said thing is that I can't even cry anymore. My tears well up and do not fall. I get these headaches from it. The stress is horrible. And I can feel my heart being ripped out. but it's not the pain of one time, but the collection of everytime it has ever happened in an endless loop. It's like I can feel everyone that is hurt and has ever been hurt. All of it baring down on me. If I thought sucide was an answer I would do it. I have lost the passion inside. The flame is died and I am so empty. And I know there is only one place, one person in this world that I have ever found peace in. And there is no way I can ever be with him. No happiness that exudes from being in his presence. And I know that this feel will never end.